Funny Quotes From Jazz Musicians

Where could one find the funniest quotes?? Jazz musicians of course!! As E.M Forster put it, “Musicians are incredibly complex, and know far less than other artists what they want and what they are.”. In other words, musicians are the craziest people:D. Why Jazz musicians you may ask. Well, in which other art form can you find so many junkies. Ever heard of Beethoven, Brahms or Leornado Da Vinci smoking weed??

Anyway, here’s a list of funny quotes from jazz musicians that I am sure you guys will enjoy reading. Have fun and enjoy….:)

“Opinions are like assholes . . . everyone’s got one.” – Art Blakey

“Look, you come in here tomorrow, and anything you do with your right hand I’ll do with my left. [to Bud Powell]” – Art Tatum

I can’t understand these guys who just have to have your autograph. I asked one of them ‘What do you do when you get home, take it out and look at it?’” – Artie Shaw

“Well, I’m too old to pimp, and too young to die, so I’m just gon’ keep playin’” – Clark Terry

“If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying.” – Coleman Hawkins

“Well, if you find a note tonight that sounds good, play the same damn note every night!” – Count Basie

“Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, so why practice?” – David Dean

“I’d like to play for you one of my compositions, my only composition.” – Dizzy Gillespie

“I never had much interest in the piano until I realized that every time I played, a girl would appear on the piano bench to my left and another to my right.” – Duke Ellington

“By and large, jazz has always been like the kind of a man you wouldn’t want your daughter to associate with.” – Duke Ellington

“There are two kinds of music. Good music, and the other kind.” – Duke Ellington

“There is nothing to keeping a band together. You simply have too have a gimmick, and the gimmick I use is too pay them money!” - Duke Ellington

“Women and rhythm-section first!” – Jaco Pastorius

“[Bebop is] Chinese music.” - Louis Armstrong

“If I don’t practice for a day, I know it. If I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it. And if I don’t practice for three days, the public knows it.” – Louis Armstrong

“We’re not going to play the blues anymore. Let the white folks play the blues. They got ‘em, so they can keep ‘em.” – Miles Davis

“In Europe, they like everything you do. The mistakes and everything. That’s a little bit too much.” – Miles Davis

“You know why I quit playing ballads? Cause I love playing ballads. ” – Miles Davis

“We’re not like pop musicians who have to perform the same top ten tunes every night of a tour.” – Oscar Peterson

“Most guys at Berklee are going to wind up truck drivers…” – Pat Metheny

“I have won several prizes as the world’s slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.” - Paul Desmond

“I say, play your own way. Don’t play what the public want — you play what you want and let the public pick up on what you doing — even if it does take them fifteen, twenty years.” – Thelonious Monk

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